Meanwhile, somewhere in Luxembourg The Incredible Hulk has lost his balls. The giant orbs have suddenly disappeared, no longer swinging in their sacks.
‘Awf with his head’ cries The Queen
Having lied to The Queen she has called for her executioner to sharpen his axe and get the bucket ready for Boris. Public seem to be in favour of it!
Boris Johnson’s apology template used again
Once again Boris Johnson has been subject to censure. His advisers have hurriedly rushed out an apology, unfortunately not all comments were deleted.
Rationing introduced to limit Brexit references to a maximum of 3 per week
Brexit References are limited to three per week. They can be funny, insulting or insightful. Most people will only use the first two, then we can move on.
Plans underway to find a suitable ditch for Boris Johnson
Dig a ditch for Boris. Concerns raised that he won’t honour his promise to be found ‘dead in a ditch’ if Brexit is delayed.
Jo Johnson has resigned the Johnson family whip
Jo Johnson has resigned the Johnson family whip. In a dramatic move, he claims he can no longer continue having Boris Johnson as his brother.
“I’m Not Boris” says his election opponent
Plucky Ian Napton to challenge Boris in his Uxbridge constituency, running on a ‘I’m Not Boris!’ ticket
Scientists have discovered a new mineral called Brexshite
Scientists have discoverd a new mineral, related to Bullshite, Gobshite and Dogshite, Brexshite has its own uniques set of properties.
British diplomats in Brussels are howling into the void
Boris Johnson has sent his officials to howl into the void in the latest round of Brexit negotiations.
Satan orders in extra kindling in readiness for Boris’s arrival
Extra kindling has been ordered for the fires of hell in preparation for the arrival of Boris Johnson. Handcart seen in Downing Street.
Boris says ‘it’s a good day to bury bad news under Bury’
Boris says ‘it’s a good day to bury bad news under Bury’ as he heartlessly kicks the end of Bury FC from the top of the news headlines – RIP The Shakers
UK to be renamed ‘The Great Democratic People’s Republic of Britain’
With food and medical shortages looming, The Army on the streets, MP’s locked out of Parliament and the return of Blue Passports, Project Britain has been declared a great success.