At times it’s hard to be Tory, when you don’t have any friends to give fat, juicy, Corona Virus contracts to.
Gove confirms he hasn’t got any mates to give PPE contracts to
Will Williamson Win the Chris Grayling Achievement Award?
With help and support it is possible that Gavin Williamson will be able to surpass the achievements of Chris Grayling.
Bullying claims denied after Priti Patel makes Boris Johnson shit himself
The shitting was incidental and in no way connected to Priti Patel, who is a kind, gentle, loving person.
Sack of rats are disgusted by the tawdry spectacle in Downing Street
Fancy comparing us to Johnson, Cummings and Symonds, it’s outrageous, we’d never behave like that!
Dominic Cummings bromance ends, his going is a bolt from the blue
Boris said some harsh things, that really upset Dom, who is a sensitive soul.
Boris Johnson brings in Don Corleone as consigliere
Don Corleone believes that the Government are bringing organised crime into disrepute.
Terrifying Trump trashes cot in temper tantrum
Trump’s temper tantrum settled after the future ex Mrs Trump added Calpol to his Tommee Tippee Mug
Tory Whips punish MP for ‘moral epiphany’
The trouble with whipping the little darlings is that the stiffer the punishment the more they like it.
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn’t keep up with the rising numbers.
e-gull drones to disperse illegal crowds, raves and demo’s
E-Gulls can stay up for hours, monitoring events before squawking, pooping and flying down to nick your chips
Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the sneakiest one of all?
Under the rule of six, the dwarves are cut down to five; Gropey, Dunc, Baleful, Sleazy and Creepy.
Everyone is to be issued with a Zorb ball
Everyone will get a Zorbing Ball, that way they can socially distance, stay safe and save the plastics industry.
The Chatty Chimp 