Other countries look at Britain and think, ‘What are those guys on? Can we get some?’
Scientists think the whole country is tripping the light fantastic
Boris plans to build a Nightingale Hotel on the banks of the Styx
Plans are afoot to build a huge Nightingale hotel on the banks of the River Styx, to cope with queues for post BREXIT afterlife transcendence. On January 1st 2021, freedom of transcendence […]
Testing fiasco as Matt and Dido run out of fingers and toes to count on
Even though Matt took off his shoes, they couldn’t keep up with the rising numbers.
Drones to deliver e-bollockings to groups of 6 or more
Howler drones will identify groups of more than 6, then they will deliver an e-bollocking until they’ve gone
Three of the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse are in quarantine
Corona Virus pandemic has forced three of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse into self-isolation Death, however, is still at work.
Clean Your Fridge Campaign launched as mouldy food achieves sentience
The mould evolved after the internet enabled fridge accessed Google
Track and Trace find’s Lord Lucan
Look at what we have found, A left-sided English mid-fielder, Lord Lucan and the rest of Boris’s children
Lockdown reintroduced to prevent the return of doorstep clapping
Unless we abide by social distancing rules, we will all be back on the bloody doorstep, clapping
Hancock appoints proven failure, Dido Harding, to take the blame
When it comes to justifying failure you need someone with lots of experience.
The Great Lockdown Escape Plan, featuring every Tom, Dick and Harry
Dig your way to victory.
Rebellious Retirees Rumbled
Matt makes a right Hancock out of rules for the over 70s as lockdown eases
Making money is more important than lifesaving, says hedge fund manager
Look, it is the job of a hedge fund to fleece the market if it goes up or down, we don’t care which.
The Chatty Chimp 