Former NASA Astronaut Boris Johnson claims he is not a liar. He is the doer of deeds, maker of worlds and not a narcissistic fantasist, really!
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Former NASA Astronaut Boris Johnson claims he is not a liar. He is the doer of deeds, maker of worlds and not a narcissistic fantasist, really!
Meanwhile, somewhere in Luxembourg The Incredible Hulk has lost his balls. The giant orbs have suddenly disappeared, no longer swinging in their sacks.
Glaswegian less than impressed with behaviour on the London Tube System. ‘It’s f*ckin nuts’ he cries as heads back North.
Blue Flag waving contagious claim Brexiteers after BBC shows EU flags being waved at The Last Night of The Proms
Bercow set for a career in showbusiness after he stands down. He’s looking forward to bullying soap and reality tv stars, with extreme prejudice.
Having lied to The Queen she has called for her executioner to sharpen his axe and get the bucket ready for Boris. Public seem to be in favour of it!
Once again Boris Johnson has been subject to censure. His advisers have hurriedly rushed out an apology, unfortunately not all comments were deleted.
Jacob Rees-Mogg the Victorian MP has signed a deal to become the face of reclining lounge furniture manufacturer: PomPosity
Brexit References are limited to three per week. They can be funny, insulting or insightful. Most people will only use the first two, then we can move on.
Family weekend ruined after two mates meet up for ‘a quick one’.
Ian Napton hadn’t seen Andy for some time, so they agreed to meet for a ‘quick one’ after work. Both assured family, friends and work colleagues that they’d just meet up for an hour, have a couple of pints then head home for dinner to enjoy a busy weekend with their families.
Gillian Napton takes up the story “They turned up at 4 in the morning, completely legless. Ian was hungry so he tried to make cheese on toast, he ruined the grill and set off the fire alarm. The prats then fell asleep watching Bullseye re-runs. If he says, ‘Here’s what you would have won!’ one more time I’ll swing for him. A quick one my arse! they’ve spoiled the whole family’s weekend.”
The two idiots got back to Ian’s in the early hours of the morning, after he had assured Andy that “Gillian won’t mind! She’d love to see you again!” and “Yes, she’s always wanted a cat, it’ll make a lovely gift!”.
Gillian made a very hungover Ian clean up the kitchen, take the children to swimming club and book a spa break for her and her bestie by way of apology. Andy is enjoying a long period of silence, whilst he waits for his wife to calm down.
Both the boys vowed never to go for ‘a quick one’ again.
Dig a ditch for Boris. Concerns raised that he won’t honour his promise to be found ‘dead in a ditch’ if Brexit is delayed.
Science has discovered why old folk with big lugs always seem to cock a deaf ‘un.