Fed up with looking foolish every time she opens her mouth, Thick Lizzie plans to copy Boris and hide in a fridge when the going gets tough.
Liz Truss buys a hide-in fridge
Brutus and Co start dagger collection for Caesar
The imminent, unexpected and wildly applauded stabbing of Caesar Johnsonius is underway.
Tories feast on the rotting and bloated flesh of another failed leader
Tories delight “It’s just like the good old days” says one MP as he prepares to feast on another failed leader.
Charitable Chatty raises funds to buy Boris a lifetime supply of condoms
Let’s club together and make sure that no more children have to suffer the shame of admitting Boris is their Dad.
Boris Johnson to lose passport after admitting cocaine use
Spurs fans stocking up after it’s announced that cocaine use would lead to football banning order.
Boris Johnson resists the campaign to get Cox Out
“Nobody works harder from a Caribbean beach than the old Coxster.” says Boris.
Guild of Fairies denies any association with Boris Johnson
The fairies deny any association with Boris Johnson and they are up in arms at the suggestion, the unicorns aren’t too chuffed either.
Shapps introduces conscription to end HGV Driver shortage
Conscription will make the most of teenagers ability to sit on their arse for hours on end, while eating junk food and farting. said Shatts
The Boris Johnson apology template to be used by Matt (TFH) Hancock
The official Cabinet Minster Apology Template, currently being used by Matt Hancock
Shock as Tory minister does not fraudulently misuse public money
He’s an old-fashioned politician, i.e. one with enough respect for the electorate to not get caught. They don’t make them like that anymore!
‘Greed got me where I am today’ said Fat Boy Johnson
“There’s no such thing as a free lunch, I make them pay me to eat it!” says The Blonde Balloon
Priti Patel’s office accidentally organisers her deportation
The Home Office was thrown into panic today after a mistake by an intern led to Priti Patel authorising her own deportation. It appears that Ms Patel’s personal details were given to […]
The Chatty Chimp 