Seagulls have lost the ability to fish, since the bins are empty and no one has a bag of chips they can rob, they are starving.
Seagulls useless at fishing
Following Boris Johnson’s miraculous recovery, the Pope is to sanctify Donald Trump
Campaign to have Donald declared St Trump after he miraculously cures Boris of Corona Virus.
Chatty urges you to Clap for the Clapped Out Clappers
It started as a good idea but now its got out of hand, people were even out clapping for politicians that a month ago they would have burned at the stake.
Baccy giant BAT Bowled By Covid
‘One guy eats an undercooked bat and now we’ve got to change our name.’ moans BAT exec
As air quality improves the Eiffel Tower is now visible from The Shard
Would you adam it? fuckin’ Paris, says The Mockney Lad.
Police to enforce social distancing by using a British Yardstick
The French will make The British Yardstick by cutting the handles off OAP’s walking sticks. Under EU rules, the stick will be in meters.
God, the Big G, the Lad Himself, has decided to self-isolate
The Big G has self-isolated, his Doctor insists it is merely a precaution. The faithful would pray for him but ….
Queen to give up 30% of her income to help out the less fortunate
The cut means that the minor Royals will have to be furloughed until the crisis is over.
Remember to delete your browsing history before you’re admitted to hospital
Turns out that Grandad had secret passion for One Direction, I just thank God that no-one else knew about it
Matt Hancock preparing Expletive Speech
Look, it’s not complicated you C%$^, just stay the f%^& away from every other c^&*
Highgate Head claims being a ‘Shakra and Vibration Guru’ doesn’t qualify you as a key worker
Look after your own bloody child says stressed out head and take your bloody crystals with you
Grandad, what did you do in the Corona War?
“When it comes to lying in front of the TV all day, doing cock all, I am your man,” says Grandad
The Chatty Chimp 