“Please recycle your used bog roll, save the planet and don’t destroy my future” says Greta
As the toilet paper shortage begins to bite, Greta Thunberg urges people to recycle
Man described by friends as ‘absolutely mental’ diagnosed as ‘a bit of a prat’
People with this condition tend to become office jokers, unwanted party guests or breakfast tv presenters.
Couple’s rejuvenated sex-life ruined when their son comes home from university
Since he has been gone, we’ve been banging for Britain. God, it’s been great.
Toilet Roll shortage leads to surge in demand for Piers Morgan’s Biography
Not as good as the real thing says one user, my finger ripped through!
Markets rally as Donald leads an anti-Corona Virus prayer meeting
Of course more poor people will die, that is because the American God doesn’t like poor people.
The Psychotic Gunman of The Year Award goes to …
And the award for the ’employee thought most likely to machine gun a roomful of colleagues’ is…
Corona Virus outbreak means we can all stop hugging each other
Millions of Brits are secretly relieved that the outbreak of the Corona Virus means they can stop hugging people they barely know. For the last twenty years the British people have been […]
The News Where You Aren’t – Episode 4
The News Where You Aren’t by Eden Luke McIntyre, featuring ELO’s Jeff Lynne is returning to his alien home-world, a Scottish tourist is suing Megabus because someone has to and Boris Johnson’s Brexit plan has been leaked.
Satan announces delight at impending fatherhood
Satan announces impending fatherhood, “Being able to pass on the family business will leave more time to work on my golf handicap” he says.
Hipster traumatised after buying coffee from a chain
Millennial Hipster, Skye Nation was left traumatised after buying coffee from a coffee chain.
The News Where You Aren’t – Episode 3
The News Where You Aren’t by Eden Luke McIntyre, featuring Edinburgh destroyed by a nuke, Weegie kills slow walking commuters, Brexit is a circus and the Beatles were a Soviet Conspiracy
If we’re called something else no one will know we did it, says Bank
It was a different time, we are not like that anymore, for God’s sake stop going on about us stealing your money and let us get on with doing it again.
The Chatty Chimp 