By extending Wimbledon to 6 weeks, holding Glastonbury fortnightly and making every Monday a bank holiday we should get enough water for the summer.
South East Water surprised by the sudden arrival of summer
Uxbridge chooses Boris Johnson as their Village Idiot
Boris is such an idiot that he struggles to find Uxbridge on a map, let alone visit the place.
Hunt hails ‘historic’ budget as he unveils free doggy day care for all
Free doggy day care and some other rubbish about pension benefits for the rich and the workhouse for the sick, disabled and over-fifties.
Waitrose opens a Tory Refugee Centre in Guilford
Right-whingers have become an oppressed minority and they need somewhere safe to be racist, sexist homophobic royalists.
BBC makes a Schrödinger’s Apology to St Gary of Lineker
When is an apology not an apology? “Usually when you have done something wrong!” Says Sigmund F
The left-wing economic establishment brought me down, cries Liz Truss
It’s not my fault! cries a deluded Li, as the internet passes comment with some of this year’s best memes.
Daily Express editor suffers orgasmic death as snow arrives
Daily Express Editor dies after suffering a prolonged orgasm brought on by the arrival of winter snow in the UK
Harrods accidentally hires Satan for the Christmas Grotto
Harrods hires Satan for the Grotto, second-rate guitarists, Apprentice candidates and Tory MP’s are queuing out the door!
Amazillionaire’s Black Friday sale, get 50% off politicians, government officials and minor Royalty
Amazillionaire’s Black Friday sale, 50% off politicians, government officials and minor Royalty. There has never been a better time to buy undue influence
I’m a Tory Get Me Out of Here!
Just when you think that government can’t get any worse, they manage to prove you wrong. What a shower.
Nutella Braverman sends spy a “Please ignore my previous email” request
A furore has blown up after the Home Secretary, Nutella Braverman, sent classified emails using Gmail. Concerns arose when the Russian News agency published a story outlining Nutella’s strategy for dealing with […]
Britain’s remaining Tory voter to turn out the lights
“You don’t get something for nothing unless your mates with ministers, oligarchs, crooks and posh boys from Eton. It’s the British way. says Derek.
The Chatty Chimp 