As Boris sits in the Downing Street War Room, pushing wooden blocks about with a broom, dreams of glory in his mind, the nation faces its darkest hour!
Baggy Johnson searches for his Churchill moment
House of Commons stage Ice Dance Spectacular
Princess Flo is a kind soul who is gentle, charitable and caring: This angers Quill, who casts an evil spell over her that turns her heart to ice.
Education Department sack the tea lady as exam row rumbles on
The Tea Lady was unavailable, having just bought a 4 bed house in the Cotswolds, a new car and a French holiday home.
Government changes procurement rules to the Service Contract Assignment Method (SCAM)
The Service Contract Assignment Method will ensure transparency when it comes to bribes and back handers
Isolated tribe of Special Advisers roam the corridors of power
It appears that the policies they have devised are so impenetrably convoluted that even the politicians can’t understand them.
Priti Patel to fight for UFC title under the name Paticake
“I can take those bitches down. I eat pussies like you for breakfast” says Paticake
All Hail Ming The Merciless, Emperor
Ming The Merciless heralds in a government for the wealthy by the wealthy.
Hunchback of Notre Dame to make Big Ben bong on Brexit Day
Hunchback of Notre Dame to make Big Ben bong. Mark Francois ‘If you wanted an ugly, repulsive, hunch-back to ring the bell, surely it should have been me?’
Downing Street Gridlocked Following Boris Johnson’s Call To Interview “Weirdos” For Government
A call has gone out to recruit weirdos to run the country as the existing weirdos are not doing a good enough job
Breaking News – Nicola Sturgeon’s Acceptance Speech
I have a dream, a dream that Hadrian’s Wall is rebuilt, that Scotland is a proud independent nation under the control of Brussels.
Breaking News – Jo Swinson’s Acceptance Speech
Jo Swinson hails the Lib Dems as future kingmakers and apologises for getting into bed with Boris Johnson, because a Lib Dem can’t resist a posho!
Breaking News – The Boris Johnson acceptance speech
Boris promises to do the best he can with what he has got. Dominic says it will be alright in the end.
The Chatty Chimp 