Since its installation in 2012, the update has failed to perform. Various high profile patches Ref V16, Grayling V2-18 and Hancockup19 failed to fix the problem.
IT Support to turn Britain off and on again
Xmas cheer as Lockdown means Uncle Jack isn’t coming for Xmas
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Priti Patel plans to cut homeless people in half, literally
With their hands full mismanaging Covid and Brexit, the government is struggling to keep up with some of its 2019 Manifesto promises. However, Home Secretary Priti Patel has been working hard to […]
Gandalf, Bilbo and Frodo are leaving the Shire for the Elven Tax Havens
It was bad enough when the Council of Elrond was prorogued, but after Wetherspoons took over the Prancing Pony at Bree, that was the final straw.
WIN YOURSELF A SHAKESPEARE T SHIRT
Email your entry to chatty@chattychimp.com
Fat Santa told to shield during the bleak mid-winter
Fat Santa ordered to shield from Corona Virus as his weight, diet and lifestyle means he’s in the high-risk group.
UK gets barbies, cork hats and pissy lager in Aussie-style Brexit
Of course Australia doesn’t have a FTA with the EU, there are some individual deals in place but then it is 6,000 miles away, so who cares?
Baggy Johnson searches for his Churchill moment
As Boris sits in the Downing Street War Room, pushing wooden blocks about with a broom, dreams of glory in his mind, the nation faces its darkest hour!
Scottish Government’s job search App says “Yer Da Sells Avon!”
Selling Avon is opening so many doors! Have you seen our new concealer? I use it myself.
Cookery expert’s croissant bakes off TV Film crew
I just couldn’t get the croissants right, and I can be quite intense when I’m stressed.
Paddington Bear seeks treatment for Marmalade addiction
Paddington’s Marmalade addiction is out of control. He is undergoing treatment to wean him off the orange fruit.
Kent to be given to France and renamed Frangleterre
Anyone entering Frangleterre will require a blue passport, travel insurance and a GB sticker on the back of the car.
The Chatty Chimp 