Doctors plan to solve Britain’s sperm bank shortage by raising the dead. In a boost for fertility clinics, sperm will be collected from the dead and dying.
Doctors plan to solve Britain’s sperm shortage by raising the dead
Bin man distresses middle-class shoppers by sneaking into Waitrose
Bin man distresses middle-class shoppers by sneaking into Waitrose
Uproar as SUV driver gives way to an ‘inferior’ vehicle
Disaster for one SUV driver after he gave way to an inferior vehicle!
Prince Harry granted asylum in Canada as he flees his angry Gran
Fleeing persecution from his angry Gran, Prince Harry has been granted political asylum in Canada.
Hunchback of Notre Dame to make Big Ben bong on Brexit Day
Hunchback of Notre Dame to make Big Ben bong. Mark Francois ‘If you wanted an ugly, repulsive, hunch-back to ring the bell, surely it should have been me?’
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation
Terrorists think attacking Prince Andy will harm their reputation so security services have removed his personal protection squad.
Middle-aged man goes to ‘find himself’ and discovers he’s some kind of ‘c**t’
A middle-aged man set off on a journey to find himself, he discovered he was some kind of c**t and he is quite happy with that!
Greggs to produce Gwyneth Paltrow flavoured muffins
I want people to feel that when they are eating my muff we are both connected through the essential mother universe
DUP outraged to discover homosexuality isn’t compulsory
After same-sex marriage was legalised in Northern Ireland the DUP were gutted to learn it wasn’t compulsory
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins BAFTA for his role in Dracula
Jacob Rees-Mogg wins a Best Actor BAFTA for Dracula. He was so believable as the callous, rapacious blood sucker, it was as though he were a Vampire.
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death
Man with a slight head cold insists he is on the verge of death, whilst his wife is less than sympathetic.
Harry and Meghan withdraw from full time Royalling
Harry and Meghan have left the family firm and are starting out on their own. He’s handy with a spanner and she’ll be great at selling on QVC
The Chatty Chimp 