Once people realised that Twatter censored Cummings, then they started varying the spelling, that was when things really got out of control.
As Cummings goes, the Twatter porn censor algorithm is relieved
Makers of Giuliani’s hair dye deny any responsibility for streaking
‘It wasn’t us’, claim the makers of Rudi Giuliani’s hair dye.
Government mind control AI as effective as their other IT projects
Plans to use available technology to control the minds of the general public have been thrown into disarray with the going of Cummings.
NASA beaten by Ant and Dec on launch day
If NASA were more willing to get in a bath full of live rats, or spend a night in Newport, people might respond better to them.
Scientists think the whole country is tripping the light fantastic
Other countries look at Britain and think, ‘What are those guys on? Can we get some?’
Livers urge owners to stop drinking and get a lockdown hobby
Livers in open revolt, as lockdown drinking hits the roof! “Get a hboby and stop the abuse” they cry!
Sound engineer lost in TV garden makeover maze for three years
He has been living on grubs and berries and collecting water in an old wellie boot!
IT Support to turn Britain off and on again
Since its installation in 2012, the update has failed to perform. Various high profile patches Ref V16, Grayling V2-18 and Hancockup19 failed to fix the problem.
Xmas cheer as Lockdown means Uncle Jack isn’t coming for Xmas
I grew up with him, so you get used to it, but it’ no fun for the rest of the family.
Gandalf, Bilbo and Frodo are leaving the Shire for the Elven Tax Havens
It was bad enough when the Council of Elrond was prorogued, but after Wetherspoons took over the Prancing Pony at Bree, that was the final straw.
Fat Santa told to shield during the bleak mid-winter
Fat Santa ordered to shield from Corona Virus as his weight, diet and lifestyle means he’s in the high-risk group.
Scottish Government’s job search App says “Yer Da Sells Avon!”
Selling Avon is opening so many doors! Have you seen our new concealer? I use it myself.
The Chatty Chimp 